Downward Dog, Outward Belly

Let me preface this by saying that, while I once considered myself to be "athletic" and "in shape," that ship has sailed. This former dancer, cheerleader, and 400 meter dash sprinter has turned into an occasional, less often than not, exerciser. I now sporadically walk, do a push up and some crunches, stretch before bed and call it a day. I consider cleaning and laundry cardio. I do not enjoy working out in gyms (as my thrice cancelled Y membership confirms). Classes make me feel inferior and super self conscious and, as narcissistic as it may sound, I am convinced that I am being watched and judged while I use the weight lifting equipment because I must be doing it wrong.

So, I decided that in preparation for Catherine's arrival (and because I would prefer to not be the size of a house), I would at least attempt to get back in shape. 

Thus I did a search for "prenatal workout dvd" on Amazon, read some reviews and settled on The Perfect Pregnancy Workout, Volumes 1 and 2. At least then my awkwardness will be viewed only by the dog and cat and I can pause and take a water break at will. Having ordered these well over a month ago and having carried them in my luggage over holiday travels as if that would entice me to open them, I thought I should finally take off the shrink wrap and give Volume 2 a try. "No Volume 1?" you may ask. Well, Volume 2 is yoga where Volume 1 is body sculpting designed by a Cirque de Soleil star. Scary. I think I'll ease into that one.

Yoga is instructed by scary body sculptor's equally buff, but less intense twin sister. She is much more my style. The entire workout lasts one hour and is broken down into beginner and advanced versions of each pose. I took a hit to my pride and went with the beginner versions this time which include a chair for assistance. It was a good decision.

The workout begins with simple prayer poses done while seated in a chair (for the beginners) but then increases in difficulty as you balance, stretch, and squat with a protruding belly added to the mix. It. is. not. easy. Downward dog is a little more difficult with Catherine hanging in there for the ride. In case you would like a visual, I am now in my 28th week:

28 weeks (12-31-10)

I don't have unrealistic goals when it comes to pregnancy weight. I will gain weight. I will not look like I always have. I will struggle with fitting into pre-pregnancy clothes after Catherine is born. But, hopefully, with yoga and a little cardio (more than the usual household chores), I will prepare myself to be the healthiest mommy I can be and maybe make labor a little easier on myself. And maybe, just maybe, this will cure my case of Ken doll syndrome. Who knows? I may love this series so much that I order the The Perfect Postnatal Workout for later!

Bull in a China Shop

Today, I googled “clumsiness during pregnancy” and was surprised (and slightly relieved) to find that it is normal to feel “scatter-brained” and clumsy beginning in the fourth month. As this is my first pregnancy and I am among the first of my friends to take this journey, everything is a mystery. Every new thing that I feel, see, think, smell makes me immediately wonder if it is a side effect or if I’m just going crazy.

This has been my impressive week so far: Monday, I locked myself out of my office. It took me 20 minutes to find someone with a key to let me back in. Tuesday, after losing my grasp and literally throwing my knife at a lunch meeting, I left my office keys at the table and only realized this after I had made my way back downstairs to my office. Yesterday, in an attempt to carry toilet paper, my cell phone, and a glass of milk upstairs, I somehow managed to spill milk all over myself and the stairs. Today, while trying to grab a metal ruler from a cabinet in my office, I dropped and then caught said ruler, stabbing myself with the metal corner in the process and drawing blood. In the past two weeks, I have broken 2 glasses and one bowl while emptying the dish washer. Hide your kids. Hide your wives. I am dangerous.

The early stages of pregnancy are definitely odd. To look at me, I look completely normal. If you look closely, it appears I have eaten a big lunch or maybe downed a 6 pack of Budweiser, but those who aren't staring at my slight "bump," I look like myself. You would think this was a blessing, but it turns out it’s a lot harder to explain your weird behavior without being accompanied by an obvious belly. I am sure I will eat these words in a few months, but I look forward to the starkness of a protrusion. At least then, when I inadvertently hurl my dinner fork at you, it will be painfully obvious why I have lost all sense of self control.

Still, at almost 13weeks pregnant, I lie awake some nights and wonder if it’s all really happening. Have we really been trusted to nurture and raise a human being? Do I actually have a child relying on me for life? All the strange side effects, and weird smells, and countless bathroom breaks aside, I am loving this baby so much already it hurts.